i’m sad ‘cause when i went swimming today the 5 foot part went all the way up to my eyes and i had to stand on my toes to breath
i’m being discriminated against dangnabbit
hahah you’re short
hahah i’m gonna stab you in the neck
If you can even reach my neck
here i come motherfucker
i will make you queen of everything you see,
i’ll put you on the map, i’ll cure you of disease.
WE WERE WATCHING THIS MOVIE IN GYM AND THE MAIN CHARACTER WAS LIKE “I’M TIRED AND HUNGRY AND HORNY” AND ME AT THIS OTHER CUTE GUY IN THE BACK JUST BOTH GO “SAME” AND LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND I WINKED AND EVERYONE WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE BUT I WAS LAUGHING REALLY HARD AND THIS IS WHY I DONT HAVE FRIENDS
can we have a tumblr marriage for you guys?
IM ACTUALLY CRYING